Monday, May 6, 2013

By the GRAYCE of God

Baby Girl is HERE.
Graycen Affleck made her debut on April 15th at 12:33pm. She checked in at 7lbs 7oz, 21" long.

Below is her birth story. I will try to refrain from the graphic details, but also want to do the whole story justice. Let me explain why...for everyone who knows me-you know that I am a conservative, realistic, often too practical individual. Before I ever became pregnant I was of the mindset and often vocal about wanting a zipper inserted in my belly where they could just unzip me, take the baby out and zip me back up until the next time. In the event that medical advancement was not practiced by the time I had babies then I would settle for being hooked up to the best drugs they had on tap. I mean, after all the "births" I have seen on TV & the movies, who in their right mind would want to feel the horror that these women appeared to go through?!?

Then I got pregnant...
I started reading everything I could get my hands on (mainly blogs & discussion boards on the internet.) So much reading that I am sure my husband will put his head through the wall the next time he hears me start a sentence with: "Well, a lot of what I read..." In doing all of this reading I became exposed to the world of unmedicated childbirth. A good friend of mine did a water birth (I thought she was insane) and two of my cousins have gone medicine free, but other than that, my exposure to people who have actually experienced an unmedicated birth has been sparse. So most of my reference came from stories I read or watched on-line. I am not sure at what point I decided I wanted to go all natural, but I came to love the idea of it. (Knowing full and well, it was just an idea, probably not a reality.) I didn't mention the idea to too many people because most thought I was nuts. If they didn't flat out tell me that, they would give me that look, smile & say "Oh that's great." What their look and tone were really saying: "Haha, you have lost your damn mind. You just wait honey." I would put my husband in that first group of people. Regardless, I had the idea & the desire, but as I told the doctor at one of my appointments: "It's just an idea. We don't have a birth plan because I there is no telling how this will all go down. I know that I am not in control of anything that will take place, but I can control my reactions." The way I saw it, there was no point in being set on having a particular type of birth and then being upset when it didn't happen the way I planned. One of the greatest things I have learned in life (and continue to learn) is that I usually have my plan and God has his-often they are not the same. And for that, I am beyond thankful.

So I was scheduled to be induced on Tuesday morning, the 16th. The weekend came and went, no baby. Sunday night J, my parents and I decided to go out to dinner. A "last supper" if you will. Sunday night we all went to bed. I had the hardest time falling asleep, just didn't feel well-a little too much shrimp sauce maybe? (PS in northern VA they call it yum-yum sauce.) I finally fell asleep at 1:30am after reading more blog posts about inductions.

3am Monday
I woke up with what felt like mild menstrual craps. Probably the little one's head-as this is what I have been told before. However, this time the cramps would come and go in waves. Just about the time I would doze off, it'd come back again. Hmm. Well, I still didn't feel great and these were annoying enough that I figured I just needed the TV or a book to distract me enough to fall back asleep so I crept down to the basement.
I tried watching TV, but couldn't ignore that the cramps were still coming and going. I started keeping track of them with the contraction counter on my phone, and google searched while bouncing on my exercise ball. What I was finding on line pointed more towards this being false labor since I didn't have any other symptoms. My contraction counter was showing that the cramps were anywhere from 5-8 minutes apart and would last anywhere from 30 seconds-2 minutes. This definitely was not labor.

7am
My mom woke up and came down when she realized someone else was up. I told her what was going on, but that it was probably nothing even though the waves had become more consistent and the cramps were stronger. Still no other symptoms. But the counter was telling me they were now closer to 5 minutes apart and 1-2 minutes long. She wanted me to call labor and delivery-just to run it by them and get their opinion. I finally agreed, but knew that if I made that call without at least letting J know what was going on, he would not be pleased. So I went upstairs, got back in the bed and filled J in on the past few hours. I figured it was premature to call the hospital so we decided to wait and call the OB's office when they opened at 9am. In the meantime, I could still talk through the waves, and the doctor had just told me I would know it is the real deal when I couldn't talk through them. Still no other symptoms-this is not it.

8:30am
The cramps got stronger, and while I could still talk through them, the talking consisted of "ouch, ouch, I feel like she is stabbing me-I'm being stabbed." At this point we are all awake. (Mom and Dad are helping me clean out our closet since we had a plumber coming in a few hours that needed access to the wall that is shared by the bathroom.) The group consensus was that I needed to go ahead and page the doctor on call. I explained to the doctor what had been happening and then answered a series of questions: had my water broken-no, was there any bleeding-no, was there any back pain-no, any pain above my belly button-nope. What was my level of pain on a scale of 1-10? (I hate this question because I have no idea...I've never done this before. But I figured a 10 must be dying-and I wasn't there yet.) I went with a 4.
The doctor said not to come in because I would probably be sent back home. Sounds like baby girl's head is just burrowing, and that things are probably in motion. I was instructed to go ahead and do anything I was wanting to get done, as sounds like labor may start today, and to call back if my answer became yes or a 6 to any of the above questions. I knew it-see-it was nothing.

9am
I decide to get in the bath tub. We have this great big one that would fit my whale self and I did a ton of reading that said this would help you feel better. So in I went. Not sure that it helped relieve any pain, but the water felt good and the change of venue was a distraction. That lasted about 15 minutes before I felt like I had to go to the bathroom, so out I got. There was the bleeding the doctor said to watch for. And at this point the waves were 1 minute long and 1 minute apart. This is when J decided we were calling the doctor back. He had to make this call because I'm busy working on breathing and not crying. She gave us the green light to go ahead and come in. When he hung up I still wanted to squeeze in a shower, after all, I had planned to take a shower, do my hair and make up all before giving birth. I have plenty of friends who all had time to do this and they looked great for all those delivery photos. And, to counteract my vain desires, I also knew I wanted to spend as much of the labor time at home instead of hooked up to machines. This is my first baby, I was mentally prepared for a 20+ hour labor, and by my calculations I still had at least 14 hours left- if this was the real deal. So J agrees to help me with a shower. However, it didn't take three steps from the bed for all of us to realize a shower was not going to happen. It suddenly became very clear to me that we needed to get to the hospital.

10:30am
We made it to the hospital after what was the longest 5 minute drive of my life. I remember being offered a wheelchair-but I also remember just needing to get where I was going-which did not allow slowing down for a wheelchair. I do remember telling Jamie I was so scared they were going to turn us around and send us back home. When we got to labor and delivery we told them why we were there-as if my current state didn't give it away. They started leading us to triage to check my status. Um hello-my status was I could barely walk upright and breathe at the same time. It was when J told them we were a week overdue and were being induced the next morning that they turned us around and checked us into our delivery room. J got me dressed in the Gownie that I splurged on. (I was determined not to forget it in the bag like most thought I would.) While the nurse was checking me, I kindly told her that if I was only 4-5cm or less, I did not want to know. Basically, I didn't want to be discouraged if I hadn't progressed any further than I was at last week's doctor's appointment. Well, this nurse chuckled and told me I was more than that. Another nurse came in and checked me as well, then looked up at the first nurse and said "You're right, she is 8cm!"
HOLY BANANAS-this was it!!
J quickly called my parents and told them to come on over to the hospital while the nurses hooked me up to all the monitors and other stuff. They asked me what I had planned for pain management. All I could say was "I don't know? I don't know?" I (or J) told them I wanted to go all natural, but at this point I was questioning that decision. This is where J jumped in as the supporter and cheerleader I wanted and needed. He was awesome at encouraging me that I was so close to being done & that I could totally do this the way I had hoped and imagined. I will tell you that if J had encouraged me the other way and suggested I get the epidural, I would have done it. He was exactly what I needed him to be, at just the right time!!


I went from 8-10cm in what felt like an instant, but was probably more like an hour. During that time my parents arrived. They took turns helping J hold my hands through contractions, fan me & keep the cool washcloth on me. I was so hot!
I was dying to push through these contractions but was told to hold off until I was complete. That was ridiculously hard to do. Dr. Hodges walked in when I reached 10cm. At that point my water hadn't broken on it's own so he broke it. I didn't feel this at all. It was somewhere around 11:45am-12pm that they finally said I could start pushing. Finally!! I had a nurse on one leg, J on the other & my mom holding my back and neck during each push. My dad was in a chair up behind my right shoulder-holding his breath to 10 and pushing every time I was instructed to do so. :-) It was a group effort, and at 12:33pm Graycen made her debut.













That's our birth story... but before I sign off-a few random things:
- I could not have done any of this without the encouragement and support of my incredible husband. I doubted his support of an unmedicated birth, but what I was therefore indirectly doubting was his support of me and my desires. While he may not always agree with the methods to my madness, he is my biggest supporter and I shall never doubt that as long as I live. I love you Bub!!
- Yes, my parents were in the room for Graycen's birth. Leading up to the event, I always thought I would just want it to be a moment between me and my husband. That being said, I don't think any of us, including mom and dad, planned on them being in the room. I can honestly tell you I wouldn't have it any other way than the way it happened. I am so grateful that they were there to witness their first grandchild enter the world. They were literally by my side during Graycen's birth, the same place they have been my entire life, through every other monumental occasion. I have given God praise every day for the time that J and I got to spend with mom and dad before, during and after Baby Gray's arrival.
- All natural and unmedicated-Hells Yah!! And I would do it all over again. It really wasn't that bad. But I should throw out there that God lined everything up for me to be able to do it the way I had hoped. When the nurse initially checked me-if she had told me I was less than a 5 there is no question I would have gone for an epidural. If they had told me I would labor the way I was for the rest of the day, no question, I would have gone for an epidural. If J had recommended it, no question, I would have gone for it. My mom hit the nail on the head when she said that it wasn't the type of labor that I had, but the time of the labor that made it doable without pain meds. Regardless, I could not be more thankful for the GRAYCE that God has shown me.





Okay-Baby Gray is about to lose her mind, and this post has taken me several days to finish. I will jump back on and work on my next post between feedings, sleepings, poopings, and everything else newborn. Next post is about dirt...

xoxo-
Lindsay

2 comments:

  1. yay! Glad you posted and everything went perfectly for you :) Hoping to see you guys this summer or at least in September!

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  2. Lindsay,

    Of our four, one was unmedicated by choice and the other, sort of like your situation, because there was no time; Mimi showed up just 45 minutes after we arrived at the hospital! Having experienced both drugged and drug-free births, I marvel at how great I felt after the latter and how my body was able to function normally right away without being in a haze. I forget why I opted for an epi for our last child; maybe the fear of knowing this one was going to be a whopper (10.5 pounds, as it turned out!). Yes, God is good. Much love to you all!!! We miss you!!!!

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